The Legacy of Lou Rasmussen Sr.

For as long as I can remember, Grandpa and I were always joking with each other.

Of course, there was a time when I had no idea he was joking and wondered why he dangled me in front of three alligators swimming in a pond.

Then there was the time when I was completely convinced he was trying to kill me when he threw me in the ocean at the marina.
 
It is worth mentioning that both of these experiences happened when I was six and Grandpa claimed he was just trying to ensure that I learned how to swim.

As I got older, I was in on the joke a little more. And thanks to the beauty of AOL and the Internet as a whole, I was able to correspond with Grandpa – or lcrgrandpa as he is known on the Web - regularly.

Now, this was in the late 90s, I was a teenager, and the youngest of four, which meant there were many things for which I felt slighted. For instance, I did everything last, got the hand-me-downs, got the couch when the older kids came home from college – the list is rather endless.

Naturally, I emailed Grandpa anytime I felt that I’d been wronged in the slightest of ways and he understood! That’s why he invited me to join the Unloved and Unwanted Club. This exclusive club was for those who existed in life to live for others, particularly as it pertained to women, children, and dogs.

Each of my grievances became official club business and eventually, as president, Grandpa elected me to serve as vice president. I even commemorated this monumental event with a framed picture of the two of us from when he took me out to buy a nice Laura Ashley dress, get my hair done, and top it all off with ice cream when I was six in Edisto Beach. Note that this was also the year when he tried to kill me twice in his efforts to teach me how to swim.

As years went on and Grandpa and I used any and every opportunity to say we were unloved and unwanted, our bond grew over our desire to be overly dramatic and put upon.

But the thing is, while the name of the club is unloved and unwanted, Grandpa was neither.

As a first-generation American, Grandpa always did what he thought was right. Now, that didn’t always mean what he decided on was right – I think my near-death experiences the summer I turned six highlighted that – but he always put everyone in his life first, and made decisions with that in mind.  
 
Grandpa worked tirelessly from childhood onward to ensure that life was the best it could be for all those he loved (including women, children, and dogs).

Imagine Grandpa at 12 years old roller skating on 5th Avenue to make deliveries to the wealthy families of the era (and skating right on up to the front door - clearly using that innate Rasmussen pride to its fullest advantage and avoiding the service entry until told otherwise).

He also valued and understood the importance of education. From his days of being selected to Stuyvesant High School to getting into MIT, NYU, and UMKC, he used education to open doors to opportunity for himself, and his family.

I asked him once why he became a lawyer when he was already an engineer and he said he did it because the lawyers were giving him too much grief, so he needed to become one in order to beat the system and get things done the way he wanted them to be done.

Grandpa’s career took him all over the country and the world, but he still found the time to fall in love and start a family.
 
Some wonder why Grandpa ended up in Kansas City of all places, but the answer is truly simple: it was the right thing to do for his family.
 
At the time, he was commuting to the city from his home in Connecticut. He said he came home from work one day and my dad and uncle Kurt were scared of him because they didn’t really know him due to his work schedule and commute, so they hid behind their mother.
 
Grandpa didn’t want to live a life where his children didn’t know him, so he knew he had to make a change and do the right thing.  
 
That’s why he decided to put his family first and raise them in a space where he could serve an active role in their lives.

The strength of the Unloved and Unwanted’s club founder has frequently been the reason why my aunts, siblings, and friends say they just don’t make men like that anymore.

Grandpa was everything a son, man, husband, brother, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather should be. And the mold he created gave us something to not only strive for ourselves but also to look for in others.
 
When he started hospice care, he told me that while he was leaving the club to go be with my grandma in heaven, it was time for me to step up and take over – and that’s a legacy I’m proud to continue. After all, it’s the right thing to do.

As for the jokes Grandpa and I always shared – including our claim to be unloved and unwanted – that was never true.

Grandpa will always be loved.

And if the glee I experienced as a child waiting to see Grandma and Grandpa’s car drive up when they would visit us in Ohio or the happiness I felt seeing them every summer in Edisto is any indication, he has always been wanted. 

*I wrote the majority of this on June 8, 2021 and sent it to my grandpa for his review. He sent it back with a couple of factual edits on June 27, 2021. He said it was approved for publication and to be placed in a file labeled "deep six."

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